2 days agoThe Racial Reckoning of 2020 Needs To Be More Than A Sometimes Holiday Remembering: A Dream On MLK DayToday is Martin Luther King, Jr Day and the kids in California are off school. Today we remember one of our brave and imperfect Civil Rights heroes who had a dream that the ancestors of that generation are still fighting to fulfill. When George Floyd was murdered in front of…9 min read9 min read
4 days agoWhy We Need Our Trauma Stories Validated (When Abusers So Often Minimize, Deny & Gaslight)In spite of every pretzeling attempt his child self made to be obedient to abusive fundamentalist parents growing up, my partner Jeff’s family shunned him, making up a scapegoating story about his essential badness that left big scars on his good, good heart. No amount of protest or trying to…7 min read7 min read
5 days agoHow Jeffrey Rediger & I Are Choosing To Heal Together — A Love StorySince I’m gearing up to teach the Memoir As Medicine class with Nancy Aronie, I wanted to take a moment to write you all a love story. It’s about my long term friend and now romantic partner, who you all may know from his work as the medical director of…13 min read13 min read
Jan 23Why Memoir Writing Can Be Medicine & Some New Year’s Journal Prompts To Help You ReflectWhen I realized what was happening and I started to take in the gravity of what had happened to this man I loved, I texted that I would be happy to pick up the phone or get on Zoom so he could tell me in a more intimate way. He…8 min read8 min read
Jan 20Honoring The Ten Year Anniversary Of Sandy Hook: Some Thoughts On Forgiveness & AccountabilityHonoring The Ten Year Anniversary Of Sandy Hook: Some Thoughts On Forgiveness & Accountability Today is the 10-year anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting. It’s also the 8-year anniversary of when I met Scarlett Lewis, whose 6 year old son Jesse would have been 16 now had he not been gunned down in that school massacre. …Forgiveness8 min readForgiveness8 min read
Nov 3, 202210 Red Flags Signaling That Your Healer, Therapist, Spiritual Teacher, Psychedelic Guide, Or Coach May Be UntrustworthyWe’d all like to believe that someone we entrust with helping us heal when we’re vulnerable can safely protect our tender hearts, confused minds, and beautiful bodies. Yet sadly, some of the most traumatized and unapologetically ruthless people hang up a shingle and call themselves a spiritual teacher, therapist, shaman…6 min read6 min read
Oct 1, 2022Interrupting The Irresistible Appeal Of The Seductive NarcissistPeople love to hate on the narcissists, and no wonder. It can feel like whiplash if we override all the warning signs and red flags and jump headfirst into those relationships, only to watch the love bombing flip on a dime to abuse and exploitation, leaving our heads spinning and…7 min read7 min read
Sep 22, 2022You Have The Right To Control You- And Nobody ElseThere’s a lot of casual talk lately about power, control, and undue influence in relationships and communities. We banter about helicopter parents who control their children’s every move, abusive cult leaders who control how cult followers think and behave, narcissistic politicians who make up lies to control public opinion, gurus…7 min read7 min read
Sep 20, 2022The Difference Between Unconditional Love, Sex, Intimacy, and CompatibilityThe Difference Between Unconditional Love, Sex, Intimacy, and Compatibility. When I was teaching a workshop recently, I made a flippant comment to a client. “Intimacy is not the same as unconditional love, nor is it the same as sex or compatibility.” …8 min read8 min read
Sep 16, 2022Getting To Know Your Boundary Wounded “Parts”*The following is an excerpt from my as yet unpublished next book- The Boundaries Handbook- about Internal Family Systems (IFS)-informed boundaries, which will be exclusively released as part of my six-week Heal Your Wounded Boundaries online program. It’s heartbreaking to realize that way too many humans grew up without good…10 min read10 min read
